


Sick of Losing Soulmates

by Honey_bee_exe



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Avengers AU, Captain America! John, Dirk doesn't take care of himself but what's new, Fluff, Iron Man! Dirk, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of being hospitalized and near death experiences, Mutual Pining, Slight references to having sex but no sex, That thing where u both r p sure ur in love but won't say anything bc the other deserves better, Trans Dirk Strider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24359218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honey_bee_exe/pseuds/Honey_bee_exe
Summary: Dirk gets back from the hospital and throws himself back into his work, John tries to convince him to take care of himself first.
Relationships: John Egbert/Dirk Strider
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	Sick of Losing Soulmates

“Dirk, what the heck are you doing in your lab right now?” John scowls and crosses his arms, looking around. He can’t actually see Dirk anywhere, but he’s not in his room and Hal said he was in his lab. John had absolutely no reason to not believe that.

The lab was dead silent though. Or, well, as silent as it’s capable of. A few machines make noises and some of Dirk’s robots are always running, so the lab isn’t capable of a true silence. It’s more that John can’t hear the tell-tale sounds of Dirk at work. No music, no talking to his machines, no clinking of tools and metal as he works on things by hand. Hell he can’t even hear the sound of Dirk opening a Monster can or rolling around in there. John actually decides Hal must have been lying and turns to leave when Dirk’s chair can suddenly be heard rocketing right at John. John turns his head quickly in alarm, throwing his arms out to stop the chair from smacking into his ankles or taking him down. He’s lucky this time, he catches the back of the chair and it comes to a quick hault. 

“Hey, Captain.” Dirk turns to look over his shoulder, giving a crooked grin to John, his overly straight and white teeth glinting in the harsh fluorescent light. 

“Don’t ‘hey captain’ me!” John turns Dirk’s chair around, ignoring Dirk very obviously rolling his eyes, “You should be sleeping! Or resting!”

“Sure the doctor said that, but we have our own doctor here who cleared me.” Dirk lifts his hand, making a toasting motion with the monster energy can in it before taking a swig.

John gives him his best stern face before kindly letting him know, “ROSE DOESN’T COUNT!”

Dirk smiles wider before winking and tilting his head. “I think so.”

John sucks in a breath, taking a moment to compose himself so he can Actually convince Dirk to take care of himself. He lets go of Dirk’s chair and Dirk sticks his foot up on the wall to shoot himself out into the room. He lands close to where his suit is laid out and he kicks the floor a few times to nudge himself over the rest of the way. He’s quick to set his drink down and pick up pieces, getting right back to work. Clearly stating to John he’s got a lot of work to do to convince him to take care of himself.

Of course, maybe John should have seen that coming.

He walks to a counter near Dirk and sits on it. It probably isn’t the safest thing to do, but John’s been doing it for years at this point, and Hal’s pretty good at warning him when some equipment might pose a risk to him. He watches Dirk move carefully, checking for any possible discomfort or problems in his movement. He seems to be moving fine, which is honestly a miracle. He was pretty messed up. John can almost remember too well how much blood was on his hands, or the way Dirk’s eyes kept losing focus, like he was barely there anymore…

“You’ve got that look on your face again.” 

John blinks hard, snapping himself out of it. Dirk has an eyebrow raised like he’s somehow the one who’s supposed to be taking care of John here. 

“What look?” 

“The one you get when you’re worried about me.” Dirk points his screwdriver at him. “I’m right here, and I’m totally fine, so cut it out.”

“Totally fine?” John raises a brow back before looking over the lab. Dirk’s been out of the hospital for a day, but his collection of empty orange juice jugs and monster cans is already starting to gather again. The cup near him on the desk implies he’s started mixing them too. There’s grease and dirt on Dirk’s clothes and face, enough that it’s clearly visible without even being close to him. His hair hasn’t been washed or styled in days, to the point Dirk’s normally white blonde hair looks brassy with grease and has flakes of dried gel falling from it. Dirk’s also so sleep deprived he’s unusually pale, and the area under his eyes are so purple he nearly looks like he’s got two black eyes.

Totally Fine.

“John.” Dirk puts his stuff down and turns his chair, giving him a look. “It really isn’t that bad. My suit needs to be worked on and it’s not going to hurt me to do it.”

“For a smart person you’re incredibly dumb, Dirk.” John’s shoulders slump slightly and he furrows his eyebrows. “How much water have you drank?”

“They had me on an IV to hydrate me at the hospital.” Dirk shrugs.

“That’s not what I’m asking.”

“No, it’s not, but there’s like, I don’t know, a few days before I’m dehydrated again after that? It’s fine.”

John looks up into the abyss Hal’s voice normally appears from, as if asking him to step in. Hal stays silent, though, not involving himself here as no one directly asked.

“Fine, okay, have you showered?”

“Like ever? Of course.”

“In the past week?”

Dirk turns away and picks his tools back up.

“Oh, gross!” John wrinkles his nose. 

“What? It’s not exactly like I want to be sitting on my ass right now, there’s other things I need to be worrying about.”

“Not right now there’s not!” 

“Look, John, I appreciate the care and all, but if my suit isn’t completed by the time I’m ready to go back into the field I’m way more fucking screwed. I’m not like you, or Jake, or even Roxy. I’m a normal human with a nice squishy body in that suit, and if it’s not safe guarded right I’ll end up injured again.” Dirk set his tools down. “Please, let me work on my suit.” His voice is pleading, and John’s face softens for a moment at it.

“You can have a longer break, you know? Take a few extra days. Sleep at night? Smell good?” John stands up and takes the tools from Dirk’s desk, placing them on a high shelf. “You know self care is a requirement to live a long life? In order to heal faster? Working yourself like this will make you have to stay out longer anyway.”

“Says you Mr. Cryogenics and Super Serum Also Work.” 

“That’s not even a good one and you know it.” John narrows his eyes and points at Dirk.  
Dirk slumps back on his chair and runs his fingers through his hair in exasperation. “Fine, whatever, right? I won’t work on my suit, but what else am I going to do that’s worth my time right now? I take a bath, and I go to sleep and I what?”

“Watch a movie?” John shrugs and reaches down to lift Dirk’s face to make him look at him. “What do you do for fun?”

“Work on my suit.”

John sighs. “Anything else?”

“Shoot peas at your ass?”

John stands still for a moment before leaning down and, as gently as he can, throwing Dirk over his shoulder. 

“Oh, alright.” Dirk rolls his eyes, something lost on John as he can’t see it, “Whatever, it’s what you want right now right?” 

“Yeah, actually. How did you guess?” John carries Dirk to his bathroom, making sure to hit the light switch before setting him down on the counter. “Look I get it, your suit is your pride and joy, and ever since you started the whole being a hero thing you’ve been taking it seriously, but you’re running yourself into the ground, Dirk.”

Dirk keeps his mouth shut for once. All he can do is look away. 

“Dirk, Seriously.” John tilts his head to make him look at him. “What’s possibly convincing you the only thing that matters is that damn suit?”

“I-” Dirk purses his lips like he does when he needs to rethink what he’s already started saying, and John watches him carefully. He takes his time, looking anywhere other than John’s face before finally getting out, “It’s all I have to offer.”

They’re both silent for a moment.

“Do you really think that?” John asks, his voice quiet, soft.

“Yeah?” Dirk looks John in the eye finally and gives a dry laugh, lifting one hand to add gestures to his words. “What else am I offering? All I have is money and that suit. I haven’t had a hobby since before-” Dirk cuts off, his hand settling on his arc reactor.

John can see residual anger in Dirk’s face. Or maybe it’s more frustration because it’s slowly bleeding out into a palpable sense of sorrow. Dirk doesn’t talk about his ‘superhero origin’ and John wasn’t taken out of the ice until around a year after that. John has asked about what Dirk was like before, but depending on who you asked Dirk was either misunderstood or the worst shit bag in existence.

Or in one case, the best and worst person they knew, flipping based on the day you asked.

But throughout the years of knowing Dirk, John has learned that his past hardly matters. The man in front of him now is a good person. He’s just not aware of it yet.

“Dirk,” John’s voice comes out a little stern, earning Dirk’s eyes back on him in a moment. The light glints on them, making the amber nearly look orange, and that one thing is enough to let John soften his voice. “You’re so much more than just your suit.”

“Forgive me if I’m not inclined to believe you.”

John lets his eyes fall for a moment before opening a drawer on the counter and taking out a rag. He says nothing to Dirk as he wets the cloth and brings it to Dirk’s face. He stops just before touching him, looking into his eyes and letting Dirk decide if this is okay. Dirk returns the eye contact with no reaction for a moment before leaning into his hand and giving a slight nod. 

John lets his thumb soothe over Dirk’s cheekbone before starting to wipe his face clean with the rag as gently as he can. They’re silent throughout, but once John finishes wiping his face off he sets the rag down and cups Dirk’s face. “Thank you.” He whispers before leaning in to kiss Dirk on the forehead. “Think I can convince you to take a bath now?”

“Can’t handle my stink anymore?” Dirk’s voice has some humor to it, but it’s still weighed down a little. “Maybe.” He takes a deep breath. “But… You have to promise not to leave me alone right now. Please?”

John nods, not even needing to think about it. “Of course.” 

Dirk sighs and John moves out of the way so Dirk can get off the counter. Once Dirk’s feet are back on the ground he pulls his hoodie over his head and tosses it towards his dirty clothes hamper. John looks over, his eyes passing over Dirk’s torso and myriad of scars, recounting the stories Dirk has told him about some of them and the moments John was there for some of them. Some are fresh, from his recent dance with death, but some are old like the two matching scars right under his pecs. The most noticeable feature on his torso isn’t any of the scars, though, it’s instead the arc reactor in the middle of his chest. Jane once referred to it as ‘proof Dirk Strider has a heart’, but if John’s honest he’s never needed the proof. It was always pretty obvious. 

“John, I know I’m hot and all so you won’t want to take your eyes off of me, but do you mind turning the tub on?” Dirk’s words snap John out of his reverie, and he immediately turns to the tub to do as Dirk asked and to hide his embarrassment. While John is busy with the tub Dirk turns away from him to remove the rest of his clothing and chuck them at the bin too. He decides to grab a bath bomb from one of his cabinets, and once the tub is half full he unceremoniously chucks it in and steps into the large tub.

“Does it kill you to enjoy those? You can let it fizzle out and be fancy for once, right?” John frowns as he turns the water off.

“It is fizzling out, it’s just also broken into pieces from the force of hitting the bottom of the tub.” Dirk settles into a corner of the tub and lays back with his arms spread across the sides. John sits on the edge of the tub next to him and watches unamused as the pieces of the bath bomb turn the water blue and make everything smell like… John takes a deep whiff of the air. Salt? Salt water? 

“It’s Ocean Air.” Dirk offers, watching John with slight amusement.

John raises an eyebrow. “You chose this scent, why?”

“It’s not bad, Cap. Plus it’s blue, like you.” Dirk splashes the water at John and John puts a hand up in a weak defense.

“Hey!” He frowns before reaching a hand down and splashing Dirk back. “I’m not the one supposed to be getting wet here.”

“Oh?” Dirk grins, “Sorry, I’d need a hand if that’s what was going on.”

“What?” John blinks. “What does that-” Realization dawns on John’s face and he flushes. “Are you serious? You know what I mean.”

Dirk laughs like that was a good joke. He’s really lucky John can so easily be distracted by how he looks when he’s happy. It’s like being in the presence of the sun, getting that sweet sweet serotonin straight from the source.

“Oh haha.” John leans over and nudges Dirk’s shoulder. “Anyway,” John says, “I think it’s time you got into knitting.”

“Knitting?” Dirk laughs, “Sorry I don’t think Rose would take too kindly to me encroaching on her territory there. She’s the one who knits us shit for holidays.”

“She really wouldn’t care all that much, she’d probably even have some needles for you to use.”

Dirk rolls his eyes. “Any other suggestions?”

John shrugs. “Video games?”

“I suppose that’s not a bad one. I’ll only agree if you play with me, though.”

“Why?”

“Because you haven’t played a video game Ever and I can’t turn down seeing you try.”

John rolled his eyes and reached over to grab Dirk’s shampoo, popping the cap open and pouring some of it right on top of his head and starting to massage it into his scalp.

“I’m going to need a yes or no on that one, Cap.” Dirk moves closer to John, moving his arms so he can lean his forehead on his knee. 

“Fine.” John sighs softly. “I’m sure we can find a game the both of us would like.”

They let things fall silent as John finishes washing Dirk’s hair and lightly pushes his shoulder back to motion for him to wash it out. Dirk complies, slipping back into the water enough to wash the suds out. Once Dirk lifts his head back out of the water he moves back to lean on John’s knee, not caring that he’s totally drenching his jeans.

It’s not like John can convince himself to care much about it either. Instead he runs his fingers through Dirk’s wet hair and smiles when Dirk lets out a little sigh of contentment. He’s pretty damn content himself, honestly. 

“You know,” John says, “I care about you. I care about you a lot, Dirk.”

Dirk shifts to look up at John. “That’s quite the statement to make, Cap.”

“Oh, haha, does it hurt you to say it back?” He reaches over and lifts a chain from around Dirk’s neck, catching his finger on the tags at the end. “Egbert, Jonathan A.” He reads off of them, “1-”

“You don’t have to read your social out loud, you know?” Dirk gently takes the tags back from John. “There could be cameras in here.”

“I doubt it.” John tucks some of Dirk’s hair behind his ear. “Should I be concerned you don’t know your own social, yet you wear mine even in the bath?”

“No,” He replies, indignant, “I don’t fill out paperwork. If Jane, however, had your social, maybe then you should worry.”

John laughs. “Yeah, okay, Jane is going to commit tax fraud with Captain America’s social, likely.”

“Have you met Jane?” Dirk scoffs. “I’m not sure she isn’t committing tax fraud with mine.” 

John grins and Dirk tries to hold off his smile as well as he can, but something about John makes him so soft the smile starts to creep onto his face anyway. 

“Okay.” Dirk offers, “I definitely care about you, John. I hope you’ve never doubted that.”

“I don’t think I have.” John takes the tags back from Dirk before lifting them into the air and leaning down to press his lips to them, the exact same way he did the day he gave Dirk the tags in the first place. “I just hope you haven’t doubted me either.”

Dirk reaches out to cup John’s face. “I haven’t.”  
They’re rather close. Closer than they normally are when they say sappy shit to each other, and the effect on it is palpable. A tension fills the room, only to be kindled by John leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Dirk’s mouth.

“I love you, Dirk.”

“Took you fucking long enough.” Dirk muttered before pulling John down by his face to kiss him on the lips. Due to how they’re positioned it’s sort of awkward, but they make no moves to resolve it. “I love you, too.” 

John smiles and kisses Dirk again, letting his hand slip lower to brush over Dirk’s neck with loving tenderness. John gives slight pause at the feeling of Dirk’s neck scar, though, the memory of Dirk explaining what the scar is from coming to his mind. It worries him about Dirk all over again.

“When are people not trying to kill you?” John whispers between pressing little kisses to Dirk’s lips.

“Hopefully,” Dirk starts, chuckling a little between the kisses, “Not right now.” He pulls John in for a longer kiss. “I’ve got better things to do.”

“Yeah, right now would really suck.” John agreed before kissing Dirk again, his fingers tracing the scar softly, all the way around, before he moves his hand down to place his palm on the top of his chest, partially resting on Dirk’s arc reactor.

They continue like that for a little bit, trying their best to accommodate for their position, before Dirk gets frustrated and pulls John into the bath with a loud splash.

“Hey!” John attempts to squeak in protest as Dirk pulls him closer and rests their foreheads together.

“Sorry, I’m injured, you couldn’t expect me to keep that position, right?” Dirk smirks as John furrows his brow and tries his best to look angry.

“Now my clothes are all wet.” John mutters, pulling on his shirt to show that it is indeed sopping wet. Dirk rolls his eyes at him before balling up some of John’s shirt fabric in his hands. 

“We can just get rid of them, you know?”

John flushes, “But then I’ll be naked!”

“John, I’m naked.” 

John sputtered for a moment, like he never quite realized that that was true until right at that moment.

“John, are you serious?”

“Shut up!” John buries his head in the crook of Dirk’s neck. “Go on. Make your virgin jokes.”

“You’re a 29 year old virgin? You didn’t get laid Once before or after coming out of the ice?” Dirk raises an eyebrow. “I’m a little surprised by that, but, John, I wasn’t planning to push for much here. If there’s something you want or don’t want you should make that clear now.”

John runs his fingers through his hair, doing his best to ignore the fact he just dropped water from his hand all over his face. “I didn’t. Care to before, you know? Didn’t have the option before becoming Cap and once I did I was either too busy fighting or, after the ice, too busy falling for you.”

“Romantic.” Dirk comments, earning a slight glare from John.

“I just want to take this slow. It already took us years to confess, clearly we’ve got time to take it slow and enjoy things.”

“That’s fine with me.” Dirk kisses John on the nose and smiles as John twitches his nose in response. “Besides, I’m definitely too tired for sex right now, so we wouldn’t have been doing much even if you wanted that tonight.”

“Just how tired Are you? Your under eye bags are horrendous.”

“That’s sweet, Cap.” Dirk smiles just a little. “I could probably pass out once I’m in bed. It’s been a while since I was drinking that monster, which has definitely gotten all gross and warm all alone in my lab, so I’m crashing.”

John has honestly never looked so annoyed at Dirk in his entire life. “Okay, you’re going to seriously bathe Now if it’s the last thing I get you to do. You need to go to bed Soon.”

“I’ll agree on one condition.” Dirk offers. “We get to cuddle and I’m the little spoon.”

“Didn’t realize you were going to be easy for once.” John mutters.

“Cap, I’ve always been easy.” Dirk tells this joke with pride gleaming in his eyes. “You’re just also easy to mess with, and I can’t help but fuck with you.”

“Ha, great.” John rolls his eyes. “Good to know what I’m signing up for.”

“You love it.” 

“I do.”


End file.
